Friday, September 9, 2011

And That's The Way it Was

I'm 45, which is exactly halfway as far as I intend to go.
I come from a world far away and very different from this one:

In my day, we were shocked about Watergate -- because no president would never incriminate himself.

You had to have terrible skin to be a movie actor.

Huge computers were made just to eat tiny bits of paper. Nothing was learned from this.

Music used human voices. "Sampling" was stealing. You'd never work again.

TV was always a parade of morons -- but for us they scripted it all. The laugh track taught us what was funny. If you didn't laugh it got very loud.

Dietary Food groups were: Beef, Potatoes and Butter. Green meant rotten.
Transfats were important therapy for heart patients, which was even more successful than leeches.

People went into space in "capsules". To come back they aimed for blue and fell.
When we got to the moon, we were done.

Vietnam ended warfare for all time.
"Catcher in the Rye" was still dangerous to read.

Everyone knew who the Bigots were, and we all HATED them.
"Kill the Bigots!"

Love was free, and bathing was optional. Fashion was all over the map, and the colour-wheel.

Musicians had to play their instruments, write their songs, and sing them without autotune.
The music was incredible. You're still borrowing it to cover the current shortfall.

"Finding Yourself" and "Being" took most of that decade. Most people found something, even if it wasn't what they expected.

Women were emancipated from housework forever so they could take up very rewarding jobs.
They have since lived happily ever after. You're welcome.

One cat was enough for anyone.

DDT for freshness -- and flavour.

There were 1st and 3rd worlds, but no 2nd world.
I think that gap has closed now.

Communist States were Evil in practice, but their leaders were cool enough to wear on T-shirts.

Everyone smoked, even infants. Especially them.
Asbestos-filters kept them healthy.

The Pigs were uptight, and The Man was always plotting to take your Freedom -- and your money.

Peace was an important word, until we wore it out and made it mean absolutely anything and nothing.

Everyone who wasn't starving had a nuke with their name on it somewhere, aimed at them at all times.
Defcon rose for the holidays and at night, during elections, and very special episodes of All in the Family.

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